Four Things Empty Nesters Must Do

Your days of go-go-go are over, and your hard work has hopefully paid off. Your children are grown and gone and now it's time to turn your attention to your new life.

Oh, there will be tears (if you're anything like me). But you always knew that one day your kids would be out of the house and you would be left to figure out the rest of your life.

This may be easy for some, but harder for others. Many parents look forward to the empty nest years and see them as a time to lean in on careers, travel, or even redecorate the playroom. Others may marinade in a solution of restlessness, and may even think the only mark they've left on the world just moved out to begin their own life.

It doesn't matter where you fall on the empty nest emotional spectrum, if you want to make the most of the rest of your life you'll need to be proactive. How so? The answer is it depends. There isn't just one right path or one way to find fulfillment and happiness. To be honest, I think every empty nester needs to do these four things to begin and take control over life's next phase.

1. Grieve (or not). You may know parents who celebrate when the last child moves out, or who immediately embrace and thrive in an empty nest household. That's great for them, but if you don't feel as jubilant it's OK to grieve a little. Raising children can be a lot of fun, and having young children in your life can give you a sense of purpose that nothing else could ever come close to bringing. It's OK to grieve a little, and if you do, don't beat yourself up about it. You're entitled to be a little down, for a little while anyway. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to work through your feelings. Once you have it's time to move forward.

2. Gather Your Support System. A support system is critical to getting through change and difficult times. Be sure you find your support system, be it friends, neighbors, co-workers, relatives, or pets. Surround yourself with people who will listen, encourage, and hold you accountable.

3. Embrace Ideas. You probably spent years nurturing your child's interests and passions, but now it's time for you to find interests of your own. Don't feel like you have to commit to any one thing, you can take a little time trying things out to see what you really want to do. You may decide to take up a hobby, take a class, or even start a business.

4. Write a Plan. The empty nest years are as important as any other phase of your life and to make the most of them you'll need a plan. Plan your hopes, goals, and expectations for 1, 3 and 5 years. What do you want to be doing? Where will your career be? What are your travel goals, your home life goals, your health goals? Be specific about where you want to be, and then chart your step-by-step path to achieving those goals.